Writing Exercise for Sleep is for the Weak

It began “not with a bang but a whimper’ as many things end, as Emelia raced out of the bathroom, white as a sheet and stuttering, rousing me from my quilt cocoon in roughly two seconds. What had happened? A fall? A lost favorite toy or woe betide us all, Vomiting?.
By the time my brain had moved this far and managed to get me into a half sitting position Eloise was behind me, shaking and glaring over my shoulder and the half open door through which she had just fled.
“What is it honey?” I murmured as I wrangled her through layers of quilt across my body and onto my lap, kissing her forehead and establishing that at least she was temperature free…
“There’s something funny in the toilet Mummy”
“Funny haha, or Funny peculiar?” I murmured into her hair, letting go of the deep breath of the parent who may have had to clean up vomit for the fourth time this month. Her odd look at my drumroll expression reminded me that while she was not lacking in the speech department perhaps the difference between amusing and strange had not occurred to a 4-year-old.
“Make it go away” she whispered into my collar bone , snuggling closer..
“Why are we whispering?”
“In case it hears me, it doesn’t want you to know it’s there”
This took me a moment. Now brain was fully awake, and i realised that in fact if the ‘something funny ‘ turned out to be a giant Huntsman I was alone in the house with a child who was none too fond of spider disposal either and if it moved from the toilet where would it flee to?

It would become an invisi-spider – one you know is there but cannot for the life of you find until it appears crawling over your shoulder several weeks later as you are having a rather well earned end of day glass of wine in the room furthest from where it was last seen…
Thus, Emelia snuggled safely in quilt and insisting on being placed in the wardrobe to keep her safe from this ‘toilet monster’ and me, encased in spider proof tight necked top tucked into pants into socks into boots with head wrapped in scarf (spider in hair – ewww) I approached the bathroom armed with a broom, to be used for either spider transport or spider death and torture instrument depending on said spiders size.
Bathroom door open, check. Shower, Spider free, check. Bath, spider free, yep, mirror and vanity, all spider free unless the bloody thing could open drawers…and it was about that time I heard a tapping, like a fingernail on the side of a tea cup, coming from the closed toilet lid…strange…water in the cistern, must be, removed cistern lid with broom handle – peering inside, nothing, nothing odd, nothing on the lid, inside or outside…the tapping reached mug status accompanied by occasional splashes…
I felt like taking Emilias tack and joining her in the cupboard – but no, I am Mother, must conquer all on a Saturday morning before husband and father Adam arrives home with paper…to be lauded as spider removal, fear conquering hero…
This was my mistake, putting down the broom, should have known by the rise in volume of the tapping, although i didn’t realise that at the time.
The second mistake was ignoring the strange panting noise that I had been putting down to the dog this entire time, the dog that routinely went walking with Adam on Saturday mornings.
Third mistake was lifting the lid…
Then it was redness and teeth and the sound of Adams key in the lock. Before the black.

If that was a huntsman it was a bloody huge one.




Filed under being creative, random bumph

10 responses to “Writing Exercise for Sleep is for the Weak

  1. worldofamummy

    I have the same spider fear here (shudders). That was a really interesting piece of writing, I loved to way it went from seeming very real and tapping into the feelings we all have (why do the bloody big spiders only come out when OH is away and we have to be the brave mummy?)into more real horror. x

  2. This is fab!!!! And scary…oooh. You have a real talent there Miss – I expect lots more stories from you please (teacher’s order ;-) )

    Love your descriptions and the way you build the suspense. Starts out all innocent and ends… EEP!

  3. insomniacmummy

    Loved this!

    I hate spiders. Hubby once chased one across the lounge floor with a bread knife, I kid you not!


  4. I really loved this, thankfully I dont have a fear of spiders yet!!

  5. What a great story! I see from your sidebar you are planning on doing NanoWrimo 2009. Good luck. I completed it in 2006 and wow, was that hard work but a very proud moment at the end. I would love to do it again some day but not this year, the 10 week old baby does not allow much time for writing!

    • yes, 10 weeks old does not allow much room for anything except 10 week old baby does it… :) I am hopeful as I have a 10 hr train trip in that time, that should help…
      And very proudly bub1 is doing the childrens one :)

  6. You are a damn good writer and I am very pleased that you’re doing NaNoWriMo. I speak on behalf of the world at large when I say we all want to read a lot more from you!

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