When I was twenty I made a very conscious decision – I wanted to get married and have a family before I pursued my passions, before I finished my university degree, before my “real life” started. And eleven years on, I am still as a song, of which I can only get one line out of my head I’m still, “waiting for my real life to begin”
These eleven years of baby and attempted training, then baby and running small theatre company, then nervous breakdown, clambering back from that, auditioning for acting schools I could fit around children and having my heart broken, or just simply not having the money to pay for them or realising that commuting from Ballarat to Melbourne every day, or being away from my babies for entire weeks was too much, while still acting in everything that seemed decent (oh and there is much much more to be told in this tapestry of years).
I tried to ‘grow up’ to ‘move on’ to find an alternate career – but I can’t. Theatre and Acting is my home, is my safety zone – I can be having the most anxious day, the most tortured mind day and I walk into a theatre space, a drama classroom and this all falls away.
So – tomorrow I am off to Sydney to audition for three acting schools. My last chance, it kind of feels. My new hope for a new beginning for my real life to begin.
I have some hope, not much, as belief in myself is always a difficult climb for me.
But deep breath, dive in, here we go.
Wish me luck everyone – particularly for family holiday that occurs between audition two and three :)
And i will post as often and probably as “oh I sucked so badly” realistically as possible.
Take care all.