Tentative Connections…

Josie at “Sleep is For The Weak” gives us some brilliant writing prompts every week, and this week I am bending one slightly to write about something I’ve been meaning to for a while…
So, A dream i have had recently is to find bub 1 inspiration and something that makes her truly happy, and this ties in quite nicely with her end of year concert that I attended tonight.

When I think of my Bub 1, one of the first images of her that comes into my head is of her, dressed as a star, not just any star, but “one of GODS stars”, singing with her friends in an end of year concert when she was in Prep, so just five years old.

It had been a horrible year school wise for her, she had left Kindergarten and we had moved across the country, stupidly expecting the school system to be the same and assuming the local school would have room for her.

Neither was true and our very bright little girl was essentially relegated to another year of kindergarten, which Bored her so much.

She went through three schools that year, ending up at a private Christian College, simply because they had a bus which would get her to school in Perth’s torrential downpours and their curriculum seemed a little challenging.

Anyone who knows me would know that a Christian school would come a distant second to Catholic education in my choices for my children – so you have some idea of how desperate we were.

What we didn’t know, however was that they would spend every day of the term rehearsing a pageant of the creation of the earth – with Adam and Eve, planets, stars etc. Every.Single.Day.

I don’t think we totally believed that this is what she was doing all day, not just the favorite bit we heard about until we attended the concert, in the Churches auditorium where they held their sunday services (yes, that kind of Christian) and the production values were amazing. Like Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat with Jason Donovan in a stadium spectacular.

We grimly sat through the first half, with alternately leaping then bored Bub2 – I and DOC and our best friends exchanging looks and whispering about Darwinism and how to emphasise that to a five year old…and then it was her turn.

Gamely the Preps and Grade ones climbed on the stage, on the scaffolding, she looked for us, saw us but didn’t wave, smiled and then…sang.

My little girl with glitter on her face shone with happiness as she sang of being a Star. And I wept.

It is this joy I have been searching to see in her again since that moment and have not seen, its been hidden by her fears, her developing teen angst, by growing up, until tonight.

Tonight I went and saw my daughter in her school presentation. These presentations are usually rushed together bumph of half written skits, but this one was excellent.

They had programs. With bio’s.

The children had written speeches and debates about animals.

One boy who is an incarnation of Dawson Leary in Grade 5 presented two films he had made, finishing one with ‘fin’.

And my girl…

My daughter took part as puppet master and voice in two pieces about an ant and a possum being interviewed , and gladly ad-libbed when it was required.

She then performed as her character of a Dingo in a play she had helped write and she radiated in a way I have not seen in years.

My daughter shines in the spotlight. My daughter is amazing. My little girl was happy.

My dream for her will be, always and forever that she shines, that she finds someone to make her shine, that she finds the career that lets her feel that joy, whatever that may be. And instead of crying in the performance I am crying now.

My darling girl may you always shine, for you always will to me.

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11 Comments

Filed under being creative, family-ness, mum-ing about, not exactly amusing, parenting, writing workshop

11 responses to “Tentative Connections…

  1. Thea

    Oh, tears from me, too.
    That is beautiful, I wish the same for my two. xx

  2. You must be so proud of her. Beautiful honey, just perfection xx

  3. I wish that for both my kids too. And I wish for you and her that she shines.

  4. What a beautiful post. One of your best yet.

    To find your bliss: it’s all we want for ourselves and for our children.

  5. Shouldn’t have read this at work… *sniff*

    Beautiful =)

  6. You’re outdoing yourself with every post. Great writing and so much feeling in every word.

    J really is a brilliant girl, isn’t she?

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