Random Post (I’m trying)

I tried. I really did. After the last time why wouldn’t I…but this story goes well back in time…

See when bub 1 was 5 and bub 2 was 3 we moved to Perth. From Melbourne. Because I got into a course there. A course that would make everything I longed for come true.

A course that I auditioned for in some hotel conference room in the CBD and was so inspired by the head of the department that how could I not do it, add to that all of the implied shared classes with my favorite acting and music theatre school in the world and how could I not go.

So, naeively, we went. At first it was good, the flat I found was great, 3 bedrooms, close to the city, so much cheaper than Melbourne, nice people, nice, if not a little quiet city. The kids and their Dad arrived and they seemed to like it too…then school started – and we couldn’t find a place for Bub 1. Not in the local primary ( 2 mins down the rd) but instead in one a half hour bus trip away. Then we learnt that in Perth Prep is like Kinder, not like Prep and Bub 1 needed more than another year of kinder. We also discovered there is no 3 year old kinder which left Bub 2 at home for another year…Okay …deep breath…all still do-able.

Then I turn up to Orientation day, am told the course director has been “moved to another position” that the course will now be focusing on ‘Performance Art” –see here for example- not for the squeamish  – and well, I’m an actor, not a Performance Artist. In fact the course had changed so much that the second years were sueing the University. I bailed.

I had moved my family a three hour plane trip for nothing and we did not have the cash to go back.

In the end I did some decent subjects at another Uni, performed in a  play and have a truckload of stories from it…It was miles less than ideal and I was GUTTED.

But that is what happened last time.

So this time was not going to be like that.

Except we moved here and the flat, well, sucks – so much so my kids don’t want to bring their friends home and it gives me bad memory triggers…

school for bub 2 is great, bub 1 not so much – bad bullying like she has never had before…

And the course, the course…that is another story alltogether – It is terrifying me in a not good way, it is damaging my self esteem – and that can’t be good…it is not what I came here for…I came here to learn and enjoy and build my confidence – I know that sounds like typical actor whinge – won’t be told I’m doing the wrong thing, right? except I don’t mind – I don’t- I expect to be not doing the right thing. Tell me I’m doing something wrong and how to fix it and I’ll adore you for ever – tell me I’m not reacting in a way I would or pull how i feel about a course off my status updates on FB and I will be upset and unimpressed.

But there are options at least, at least i think there are and hope they are good…

’cause right now I’m thinking performance art looks like a pretty good option.

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10 Comments

Filed under acting and auditions, Apologies, below 15%, bub 1, bub 2, writing workshop

10 responses to “Random Post (I’m trying)

  1. No, it won’t be the same at all. Far better opportunities here – Performance Art will NOT be necessary – and we will be making a good life here. Wait and see. :)

  2. It won’t be the same this time because YOU are not the same.

    I have a magnet on my fridge that says “grow where you are planted”. My life has never quite worked out the way I planned, but I figure as long as I try and make the most of where I am I’ll be ok.

    There’s a little spot of fertile soil here somewhere A, you just need to find it and then grow and grow. I know you can do it xxx

  3. It’s amazing that you posessed the strength, courage and faith in yourself to make that huge trip to the West, even if it didn’t go to plan. What it did provide you with is experience, situations that you can draw from and grow from. That is why where you are standing now, is not the same. Take the challenge, fix what you can, accept what you can’t.

    Growing up I wanted to be in the theatre so bad. I had done my time, doing drama school for five years and in my final year of high school, my school drama teacher just offhandly said “This profession is only for those that cann’t live without doing it.” The acting (and generally whole media/theatre) industry is so cut-throat, those that don’t have that passion in their soul, just cannot cope. I didn’t have that passion, as much as I loved “performing”. I think I made the right decision by not pursuing it. I think you have that passion, however, so take all these negative experiences, turn them into hurdles for you to overcome. Make them make you a better performer, a better person. And never let anyone, no one at all, doubt you, and your self worth. Those that do, do it to validate themselves and are not worth the pain.

    I cannot wait to see you perform one day. xoxoxox

  4. You can do it. You are doing it. And I think you are amazing.

  5. What is the specific issue with the course?

    • Ah. They can be explored once i come to some kind of ending of course agreement with the course people and remove every possible relevant reference to the course so that it cannot be traced back to them – well aware that what works for one may not for another and I do not wish to be litigated against…:s

  6. That sounds rough. No advice really, just a hug.

  7. This post tells me what a brave soul you are. I’m so afraid of making a leap like that myself. I thought I was ready, but not so sure now. Anyway, thanks for sharing and I do hope everything works out for you.

  8. Thank you. Everyone. Will hopefully be back up to blogging strength again soon…*hugs**

  9. Wow, for starters, you are so strong to up sticks and go over in the first place. And what would have happened if you hadn’t gone and tried it? Would you be imploding right now with resentment? You’ve tried and things I guess, haven’t worked out like a dream, but what seems like a shite decision right now, will one day, make sense. I worked at a job once where I absolutely fucking hated every minute. I did however, get to work with one lady who was great. I can’t tell you how gutted I was all those years ago, to go from a semi-ok situation to the crappest one of my life and I basically begged for my old job back. They had replaced me, so it was a no go. A couple of years went by and the only good lady I worked with, offered me a job. She had set up in competition with the wanker we had both been working for. I have worked there coming on 10 years. So in a round about way, maybe all this horrible stuff is just tag teaming you to some really wonderful stuff? Keep going, you are incredibly strong. x

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