Okay. So i did some serious staring at myself in the mirror today. Yes in a weird talking to myself way, not in a ‘ooh don’t i look lovely after being ill for weeks’ way.
And here is where I came to.
Right now I just don’t get the point.
Right now I’m finding it all too hard.
But I have promises to keep, and hopes that I will find someone to help before it all gets way too much.
(incidentally I hate searching for psychological help – the endless exposition of my life again, and again and again every new therapist – and just going to a therapist feels so – I don’t know – 90’s American…sigh…but if they are needed, and they are, then well, no option really – anyway)
Heres the deal. Or at least what I hope the deal will end up being.
I am going to study Acting – As solidly as I can. I am going to do one more audition for a school at the end of the year and then just stick with whatever comes out of that.
I am going to complete my Bachelor of Social Science degree by distance education.
I am going to keep any promises I have made thus far.
I am going to try to cling to the hope that this lonliness will pass – it is crippling me.
I will try to do one Mum thing with my kids every day no matter how I feel.
That is about it except for
And, I look an awful lot like Emily the Strange at the moment. Which is pretty damn cool :)
Then I had to go and lie down again as I have a nasty earache :s
So yes, thats where I am bloggesphere – lets hope for the best. And lets hope that this sticks this time.