This is a picture of me and Bub 1 at Northland going to see ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua” for her 9th birthday. We spent a VERY long time in the ‘Time Zone’ there . (I know it isn’t Time Zone but it was when I was little so Time Zone it shall remain :P). This mirror was outside of the Pancake Parlour where we took her for dinner, and I took photos of my babies and the manager came over and asked me what I was taking photos of and why and made me feel incredably guilty for taking photos of my daughters birthday, but we have some lovely ones of her blowing out the smauggled in candle on top of ice cream on a pancake :) She was happy. I was happy.
We are not happy now. I know this is more bad stuff and that is all that this blog has been and I hate it, but right now I feel like I’ve destroyed everything – my course fell apart, my Bub 1 is being bullied, my Bub 2 no longer wants to dance, I feel like I should be getting them to change schools, I truely do. I feel like we should move and change schools – that feels right to me – but I’m scared, I don’t trust my instincts any more.
This week has been so stressful – we had two nights of me waiting for Bub 2 to get sick, sure that he was, then he got sick, temp and all on my Birthday (which I don’t mind in a ‘screwed up my birthday way – not that into them really), and then a cough like a seal, Bub 1’s Anxiety then turned into full blown panic attacks about catching what he has ( she has be we are calling what is a throat virus in him, a cold for her) and then today Bub 2 comes home, freaked out about chicken pox ( 3 spots thus far- this has been since 4pm – figure not chicken pox – thank you twitterbuddies – much help :) ) and he no longer wants to dance. My beautiful happy boy doesn’t want to do dance class. He was meant to be learning it at school. That was one of my criteria for a school. He isn’t. Also Bub 1 isn’t doing Art – no longer wants to be an artist and is so shaken by the bullying…I just want to move them somewhere safe with art, with a dance team or club, I can’t guarentee friends but I can a good anti-bullying policy….
I know a long whine – apologies – but if nothing else I have a reason – I spent the morning with a psychiatrist – who might help – except that I have to take my germ phobic self to a GP surgery to see her O.o…and then walked down parramatta rd from Leichardt to Ashfield – BAD walk when you haven’t been walking on hilly ground, in a hurry to get home, carrying heavy bag for a good month….So I’m exhausted and sore and sad and just want a stress free week. I want to write about the happy, the amusing, the light.
But life is just so heavy.
So to help (if you made it this far) here is someone who is not letting life get him down – I’ve friended him on FB and written to him – he is amazing – listen to this and if you think its worthwhile, look at his other stuff…he’s pretty damn grown up for a twenty something ‘dude’ – Presenting the “Fully Sick Rapper”
Oh and if you aren’t into that – compare these two – very clever –
There – wasn’t it worth it?