If Josie can be brave so can I

 

I lost myself somewhere. And I can never quite work out where. I stare out at the midnight blue sky waiting for the storm and try to find the seams and cracks in my reality.

I can see the days, the early days years ago – a weekend of beach and music, of new and alive.I can feel the colours spreading plum brush and blue as the sky across the bones of my hand.

So fragile.

Fragile as I am, as I am truly when I’m not trying so damn hard to just stop the world, stop life from destroying me.

And I’m so tired of losing that girl that brave stuck solid young ancient wise funny girl that gets caught in the shuffle of pain and fear.

Who draws the broken, draws the damaged and hurt, draws pain to her by an almost magnetic force.

But see, she can’t take it anymore. So somewhere I lost her, somewhere she ran and didn’t look back. Somewhere she is dancing and laughing loved and held.

And some days I find her through tears, through breakdown, and I realise that she is damaged far more than I ever realised and I should never have let that happen.

I need to start living as me and loving the dark blue night. I’m scared of the pain, but really, could it be much worse than life un lived?

***********************************

Maybe someone else can tell me the prompt I used? I’m not sure….

 

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3 Comments

Filed under writing workshop

3 responses to “If Josie can be brave so can I

  1. tina

    beautiful and brave. thank you for sharing…and i don’t know either but i don’t think it matters much. peace.

  2. A beautiful written piece and I hope you find your place again soon. xx

  3. I think sometimes we find ourselves in the things we have lost. I think that was what I wrote about, how in a catalogue of lost things, there is the person, right in the middle, stripped down to the bone but very, very much there.

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