Ten bloody dot points in the study guide. Thats all it takes for me to decide that my secondary job (you know, the sensible, grown up, money making one? The “back up career” that all creative people “have to have” (lord knows why – parental brainwashing or somesuch)) my secondary job is inviable.
I am not, never have been, nor will I ever be emotionally stable. Nor do I have confidence. and without those two how am I ever going to be of any use to a ‘client’? There is Counselling out the bloody window, just like everything else that came before.
Journalism – too punctuationy
Psychology – too sciencey
Law – not at all like Perry Mason on Tv-y
An Anglican bloody Preist – Too not Vicar of Dibly-ish, and really was only considering it for Mum, so she could have the first daughter of a female priest to be a female priest, and I was preganant and thus a little bit mad.
Author – Can only write short stories.
Poet – Can anyone say “teen-angst”?
Singer – Yeah – Am good in choir but put me in a class or a musical audition and any voice I have turns tiny
Oh and artist – well my year 7 Art teacher drove that one out of me quick smart – As far as she was concerned there were very few of us with real talent. I was NOT one of them and thus condemned to Lino cutting, while the talented few flounced out to the garden to sketch.
And Childcare worker – a one day placement in a busy city child care centre at the age of 18 (where I had no more knowledge of how to look after a baby than well, a baby) and they put me in charge of the babies. The little babies. The tiny precious little babies. Of which there were at least ten. And Just me. And they were made to lie in their cots and sleep. Even when they were crying so much. And god, imagine the most inept person ever changing their first disposable nappy? Yeah – that was me. Traumatised me for life that did. I ended up crying right along side the babies.
So, now what? and Now where? I know what I love but how do I make a living out of it? I need a back up career – I have two kids – who are becoming teenagers, with big school fees and the need for lap tops….
So now what?